I just read an amazing passage from the book I am reading, "The Wise Man's Fear". It is a passage that explains or describes my love for those special horses I have loved in the past and present, Chance, Danar, Snowy, Colonel. How I can love their faults as much as their attributes, yet expect perfection from humans is beyond me. I am flawed. Anyway, here goes:
"So yes. It had flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart? We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing because. That's as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure an perfect."
The way Patrick Rothfuss writes is amazing. It flows freely and speaks to me.
Why does love work in this way for me? Why am I so open to horses and forgiving of their faults but so demanding and expecting when it comes to human relationships of anything more than friendship? Perhaps it is partially due to the nature of the relationship with a horse. Horses are forgiving. Horses are not demanding. Horses can hurt you, but they can't betray you. Men can crush you emotionally as well as physically. Horses want to adapt to you and after time they almost feel like part of you. I can't imagine ever getting that close with a person, so close that they stop being a separate entity and become more like your arm or leg.
I had an interesting talk with one of my guests this past week. We talked about the reasons why horses mean so much women, but to teenage girls especially. We talked about how some of it is the power thing. In a teenage girl's life, there is so much that is beyond her control. She isn't in charge of much at all, but when she is on her horse, she has control. She makes the decisions. She has power. She has power beyond her own physical strength which is typically less than that of boys her age. There is also the aspect of physical touch. When I was a teenager, I wanted to pull away from my parents. I didn't want them to touch me or be overly involved in my life. I assume that most teenagers are like that. I wasn't ready for anything near sexual touch from other people. I was deprived at least somewhat of the physical affection that I longed for. My horse filled that gap for me. When I needed a hug in the worst kind of way, my horse Chance was in the field for me. I could jump on him bareback and run as fast as the wind. Also, we talked about the barbie doll aspect of a horse. You can brush, primp, and braid them to your heart's content.
I love my horses of my heart. Sometimes it is love without reason. Sometimes it is love without rational reason. Sometimes that is a good thing.
